Tonight, my toddler went to bed without brushing her teeth
At the end of my rope. Touched out. Fed up. Tired. At my wit's end.
Today was a tough one, not a full blown meltdown, the world was imploding type of tough one, but I'll chalk today up as rough. It's not that she hadn't stopped crying for hours, to be honest, I'm the bitchy mom who does not know what that feels like. Jax is 14 months old and has never cried for a long period of time, never more than 5 minutes, she's easily consolable (I guess I have my breasts to thank for that!). Don't worry though, the little amount she cries, is made up for with the constant reminders of "how good my baby is" when I am becoming impatient. Am I really lucky though? I feel as though my threshold of patience is probably way lower than moms who have been put through the ringer. I would not want to trade places with anyone, my daughter is "a good baby" however, it doesn't make it easier when someone tells you she is a good baby when you're at your wit's end for a seemingly ridiculous reason. I know it's a ridiculous reason, but I do not need to be reminded.
The first year is tough for sure, but it is also blissful. Toddlerhood is a whole other ball game and she stepped up to the plate ready to hit a home run sending me out of the park. I have no idea how other moms have two, god forbid three children. People are always asking me when I'll be having my next one, I've found myself changing my answer from in the near future, to not anytime soon. Every phase comes with it's highs and lows, and if I'm being completely honest this is my favorite stage but it is also proving to be the most challenging. Toddlerhood is fiesty, fierce and full of personality. I absolutely love the person she is becoming but it comes at a price: sanity. She's only 14 months old, what am I going to do when she's 14???? I know, I know, the nights are long the years are short, believe me that is constantly in the back of my mind, hence why I'm already thinking 14 years old is coming WAY TOO SOON!
Tonight, after refusing her second nap, constantly telling her: "sit on your bum", in the bath before she inevitably smacked her face (when do they learn this will most likely happen every.single.time!?), cleaning up the Poop Picasso Masterpiece she made me after I regrettably left a dirty diaper by the front door so I could take the chicken (she fed to the dog) out of the oven, running after her to eat her dinner because being in her high chair gets the same reaction as if I were trying to put her in a straight jacket, and cleaning the yogurt and oatmeal off my couch after she kicked it out of my hands, topped with the constant whining, I decided it was bed time: no teeth brushing, no pumped bottle - the boob will have to suffice, no book and only one "You are my sunshine" before putting her down in her crib, where she immediately fell asleep. Finally a moment to breathe, or so I thought.
Cue Mom Guilt: worst mom, ever. Will her teeth rot because of the one night I didn't brush them? No. But have I convinced myself I should wake her up, brush her teeth and tell her I love a million times over before trying (probably without much success) to put her back to bed? Yes.
Ah, Mom Life, you beautiful whirlwind, I wouldn't trade this job for anything, but some days I could use a 15 minute "smoke break".